THE LIGHT IS COMING

269 The Light Is Coming

Or is it not… Did the light take a cosmic detour? 

Hey, hey, so, I’ve been away. – Oh, and this is a picture I took (of my reflection in a floor-length mirror at Cinnamon in Bangalore) on my 31st birthday, etc. I know it is unusual to share pictures of myself on my blog but I thought, Hey, why not? (It was a lovely day, and I liked my outfit.) I don’t usually photograph well and hate posting pictures of myself on a public forum unless I have taken the picture (and think it looks fine) or yeah… I know, so finicky and weird. Well, that’s me in a nutshell for you! (Nothing alluring/inviting, there.)

So back to the topic at hand, I thought I’d drop some gems (much like in the photograph)! Or maybe just tell you what has been going on, which is, basically, nothing. I am still looking for a job, so there is that. May has been complete mayhem to say the least, I have never before felt the depth of emotions so destructive and distressing, as I did, last month. How’d I escape its confining clutches? (I tried.) There was a two-hour DMT (Dance/Movement Therapy) workshop and a spooky story-telling sesh that I attended (on different days); I met some friends (Ashwita and Krutika) and worked on a mini-series called #mermay (just for kicks, or uh, fins), etc.

What I’m hoping is that June is better. That I can finally get somewhere, be doing something (I promise to pay it forward). I’ve been in the same place for so long, and everyone, everything is just passing me by. Adding to the overall despondency of this post; I had a few bad depressive episodes this month and do you know what’s even sadder? I don’t have enough to see a counsellor on a regular basis or anything (don’t worry; there is something else that could perhaps work out). Anyway, I know they say that it gets worse before it gets better… So, I definitely won’t stop trying. (Please don’t be laughing at me, I’d cry harder if you were to. All the best, ¡mis amigos! May June bring out your compassion and courage, confidence and creativity… I wish you the warmest of viiiiibes.)

(Should you be interested, the marigold-themed silk blouse is from H&M – it was a gift from my mother and my jeans are the 711 Skinny from Levi’s; I wore Minila’s gold Kolhapuri chappals on my feet, a beautiful coral reef necklace from SHOP LUNE on my neck, hoop earrings from H&M in my ears, and a new watch on my wrist (my friend Magali helped me snag this babe from Casio at an excellent price!). 

P.S. Look, don’t get me wrong… I know I rarely get into a super sad mood here on the blog, and that too, on the first day of the month! But know this, I’m always forthcoming on here, and I couldn’t pretend things were better. I mean, yeah, there’s so much to be thankful for. Even so, I do feel emotionally/mentally drained. I’d like to have done something. I’d like to be seen as worthy; only I am not and I feel like I am the human equivalent of the song Fix You by Coldplay. I mean, it’s utterly desperate but kinda hopeful too. That is what I am, right now. Hoping against hope, as Ogden Nash once wrote. (Okay, that brought a smile to my face; it was a crazy poem, wasn’t it?)

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Artwork and picture by Roanna Fernandes

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Sweater Safe Than Sorry

Sweater Safe Than Sorry, October 2013, Cardigan, Sweater, Keep Warm

Living in Bombay has its perks and er… pitfalls! It’s just that the city never really gets as cold as I’d like it to be during the winter months! (I’m choosing to ignore mentioning all the other serious pitfalls this city carries on its shoulders.) Even so, that doesn’t stop me from throwing my light-weight knits all over the place. And it’s true that I have an odd fondness for winter wear, irrespective of the season – blazers, cardigans, coats, jackets, scarves and sweaters, uh-huh! Before I bring out all the heavy gear, I thought we could start with the most basic knit (see picture). The carelessly classic pullover sweater! They’re snuggly without being overbearing, come in all kinds of silhouette shapes and yet they can be tons trendy – you can experiment with colours, prints (animal print is sooo fetch, this year!), styles and textures (er, cashmere?).

{ What’s in each of the pictures? 1. Troian Bellisario as Spencer Hastings (Pretty Little Liars); 2. Fine-knit Sweater, H&M; 3. Leo Pullover, Anthropologie; 4. Julie Sariñana of Sincerely Jules; 5. Chelsea Girl Tiger Head Jumper, River Island; 6. Easy Rider Sweatshirt (in Cream), Forever 21; 7. Slouchy Angora Jumper (in Pink) by Boutique, Topshop; 8. That’s a three-fourth picture of ME rocking my whale print sweater from Zara with my dinosaur necklace from Accessorize! }

P.S. The Chelsea Girl tiger head jumper from River Island gets my vote for Sweater of the Year! For starters, I love its vintage vibe in the form of the retro tiger head print, plus I can think of ten ways to accessorize with and style it – think choker necklaces and sling-purses with a pair of pleather leggings or ripped denims (ooh, and high-top sneakers!).

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Artwork by Roanna Fernandes