THE LIGHT IS COMING

269 The Light Is Coming

Or is it not… Did the light take a cosmic detour? 

Hey, hey, so, I’ve been away. – Oh, and this is a picture I took (of my reflection in a floor-length mirror at Cinnamon in Bangalore) on my 31st birthday, etc. I know it is unusual to share pictures of myself on my blog but I thought, Hey, why not? (It was a lovely day, and I liked my outfit.) I don’t usually photograph well and hate posting pictures of myself on a public forum unless I have taken the picture (and think it looks fine) or yeah… I know, so finicky and weird. Well, that’s me in a nutshell for you! (Nothing alluring/inviting, there.)

So back to the topic at hand, I thought I’d drop some gems (much like in the photograph)! Or maybe just tell you what has been going on, which is, basically, nothing. I am still looking for a job, so there is that. May has been complete mayhem to say the least, I have never before felt the depth of emotions so destructive and distressing, as I did, last month. How’d I escape its confining clutches? (I tried.) There was a two-hour DMT (Dance/Movement Therapy) workshop and a spooky story-telling sesh that I attended (on different days); I met some friends (Ashwita and Krutika) and worked on a mini-series called #mermay (just for kicks, or uh, fins), etc.

What I’m hoping is that June is better. That I can finally get somewhere, be doing something (I promise to pay it forward). I’ve been in the same place for so long, and everyone, everything is just passing me by. Adding to the overall despondency of this post; I had a few bad depressive episodes this month and do you know what’s even sadder? I don’t have enough to see a counsellor on a regular basis or anything (don’t worry; there is something else that could perhaps work out). Anyway, I know they say that it gets worse before it gets better… So, I definitely won’t stop trying. (Please don’t be laughing at me, I’d cry harder if you were to. All the best, ¡mis amigos! May June bring out your compassion and courage, confidence and creativity… I wish you the warmest of viiiiibes.)

(Should you be interested, the marigold-themed silk blouse is from H&M – it was a gift from my mother and my jeans are the 711 Skinny from Levi’s; I wore Minila’s gold Kolhapuri chappals on my feet, a beautiful coral reef necklace from SHOP LUNE on my neck, hoop earrings from H&M in my ears, and a new watch on my wrist (my friend Magali helped me snag this babe from Casio at an excellent price!). 

P.S. Look, don’t get me wrong… I know I rarely get into a super sad mood here on the blog, and that too, on the first day of the month! But know this, I’m always forthcoming on here, and I couldn’t pretend things were better. I mean, yeah, there’s so much to be thankful for. Even so, I do feel emotionally/mentally drained. I’d like to have done something. I’d like to be seen as worthy; only I am not and I feel like I am the human equivalent of the song Fix You by Coldplay. I mean, it’s utterly desperate but kinda hopeful too. That is what I am, right now. Hoping against hope, as Ogden Nash once wrote. (Okay, that brought a smile to my face; it was a crazy poem, wasn’t it?)

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Artwork and picture by Roanna Fernandes

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Sugar & Spice

233 Sugar & Spice

I am not sure how to begin writing this post, exactly… Only because I tend to repeat myself, or usually start with, “Okay, so... ” or “Erm, to… ” Why don’t I have a cool catchphrase? Would be SWEET if I did! Do you have one? What would my life be like if I didn’t have a blog to look after? Not in the arrogant sense, more like, “Would it be easier to just be, and not over-think and not have to jot down every idea that I had?” Yikes, I don’t know! (Does this feel like what it would be like when you have a baby?) I can’t stop over-thinking, and yet I hate thinking about these things. Talk about a rubbish intro paragraph, and I wanted to have a catchphrase (shut it, bro).

Okay (turns out that I can’t get rid of it yet), so a few weeks ago, Radhika (Malhotra) of Sugar & Spice e-mailed me because she wanted to have a cool, new header created for her blog; I remember being very interested about the project because the name itself had so much potential, I was thinking of conjuring jars of magical sprinkles and cake-mixers blending secret-looking ingredients in bowls and well, all sorts of objects, because erm… SUGAR AND SPICE – Commonplace as the phrase is, something about it is very charming, enchanting even. (Radhika is a Delhi-based blogger who makes desserts and food, mostly – and covers all related recipes on her blog; she also loves composing and shooting the pictures for all of her posts.)

We both came up with very many ideas that were exchanged over a couple of e-mails… Radhika decided that she liked the idea most of Sugar & Spice being illustrated as a logo unit (in a typeface format, along with her signature). So, it was a header-style artwork that won her heart ultimately, wherein Sugar & Spice and all of her favourite ingredients and tools were illustrated colourfully! Also, we finally settled for a different typeface in the overall artwork but this is the one I used originally which made me like this version more, heh. (I can’t decide what I like the most… The jar of Nutella, slab of butter, or ooh, the eggs, camera – yes, I was inspired by the Lomography ones, the cake-mixer, lemons, etc. Ooh, definitely the sprinkles!)

P.S. This is the second dessert-ish related artwork/logo (I think The Vanilla Bean Bakery was the first) that I’ve worked on formally for someone, and I LOOOOOVE working on projects like these… Because it makes me very happy to be able to draw things to eat. :-)

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Artwork by Roanna Fernandes

Cinnamon City

221 Cinnamon City

Ah, feels like Christmas is finally over… ! NOW. Oh well! Minila Louisa (who gave me the idea for this post) is one of the other people besides me who is going to be missing the cheery festival more than ever… We are weirdos. Cool weirdos, though! There’s much that I will miss: Cold and winter-ish days, sweaters, hot cocoa, LOVE, Christmas sweets, December, shopping, wrapping presents under the tree, listening to Christmas carols the whole day, discussing what movies to watch on THE DAY, blah blah blah blah. In fact, I decided not to be so glum about it so I finally gave in and ordered the very same tea I once gave away; it’s delicious, smells oh-so-wonderful and those darling cinnamon bits swirling around in the golden liquid – JINGLE ALL THE WAY, OOH HOORAY! Okay bye, I can sense you are closing this window, please come back tomorrow, or in a few days? I will see you soon. And if you are missing Christmas – shall we share a moment then? Farewell…

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Artwork by Roanna Fernandes

Ode to October

Jupiter Skye, Roanna Fernandes, Ode to October, October 2013, October, Love

Look, I love to romanticise people and things okay? Er, I mean, like the fact that I don’t think I’ll ever stop getting excited about a favourite month coming along (even though it comes every year!). You already know that February tops my list but October is a special month as well. Plenty of kooky reasons, but I like ’em. Let’s raise our hats to a happy October? Yes? Yes! Okay. 

“Lavender-scented baths. Birthdays. Candied apples. Halloween. Witches. Red lipstick! Orange. Nutmeg. Pumpkins. Jack-o’-lanterns! Librans. Mysteries. Witchcraft. Voodoo. Scooby-Doo! Sweater dresses. Americano. Cardigans. Best friends. Moroccan lanterns. Drops of Jupiter. Boxy blazers. Starbucks. The Darker Half. Pleats Please by Issey Miyake. Apple pie. Bubble baths. Romances. Books. Love potion. Costumes. Wool. Legends. Coffee dates. Gloves. The Forbidden Game. Writing. Espresso. Autumn. Charcoal pencils. Trench coats. Pink ribbons. Dressing up. Moonlight. Shea shower cream. Cinnamon. Creepy stories. Holding hands. Graveyards. Conversations. Elle by Yves Saint Laurent. Black. Letters from strangers. Ruby Woo. Think of You by MS MR (RAC Remix). Frankincense. Sleep Balm. Music. Wolves. Scents. Celebrations. Scarves. Caramel toffee. Warm breezes. Scented candles. Pumpkin spice. Guys. Oh, October!”

P.S If you’re interested in my work and are thinking of a collaboration or project, please write to me and direct your queries. Just please DO NOT BRAND, LABEL, STEAL or USE my work as your own. It would thoroughly anger and disappoint me, to say the least. Translation: Pilfer my stuff, and you could die.

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Artwork by Roanna Fernandes